Included: One complete polyhedral set of Sharp Edged Resin Dice we would like someone else to own (and that somebody could be you!)
These are the sharp-edged dice that failed the very scientific test of us wanting them around. This is a mystery selection, so the exact colors, design, and decorative choices will vary. They make a suitable joke gift for a friend with a sense of humor, an extremely unhelpful addition to someone's carefully coordinated dice collection, or buy it for yourself because you have read all of this and remain weirdly optimistic.
Q: Okay, what's wrong with them?
They're weird, dumb, ugly, cosmetically unhinged, fugly or weird.
Q: ...But functional? Are they B-Grade? Why are they so cheap?
Assuming you get past their looks, they are 100% Functional. They're cheap because we don't want them around and selling them at normal price felt like a crime.
Q: I hate these...
We warned you AND you're welcome. 5 stars please.
Q: But it would be funny if I gave it one star like the picture!
I've actually run the numbers... and 5-star appears to be the correct play for comedy.
Q: Will this send a message to someone I don't like?
Yes! But it's best if you pretend it's a 100% sincere gift, and that you can't wait to see them break them out in-game. 😈
Q: ...Well wait, the packaging will give away that its a joke gift.
Tell them it's sarcastic... or it's the thought that counts or something.
Q: If I order a few, will I get duplicates?
Probably Not. We will try not to give duplicates in the SAME order, multiple separate order or large quantities (6+) may yield duplicate sets though.
Q: Maybe I'll like them...?
Oh man, you saw through the ruse-- Yup, these dice are actually amazing! 5 stars please, but don't worry about tagging us on social media.
Q: Really though... are they secretly nice?
If they were, we'd have given them a name like 'Moonlit Elven [Noun]' and not hidden them in a brown bag.
Q: Do you hate every set equally?
No. We are capable of nuance.
Q: Are they cursed?
Probably.
Q: Will they improve my rolls?
They will provide a convenient new thing to blame... Which is probably what you really want, right?
Q: Could these make my other dice look better?
This may be their strongest selling point, and it isn't even about them.