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Product Details

Included: One complete polyhedral set of Metal Dice we would like someone else to own (and that somebody could be you!)

These are the Metal dice that failed the very scientific test of us wanting them around. This is a mystery selection, so the exact colors, design, and decorative choices will vary. They make a suitable joke gift for a friend with a sense of humor, an extremely unhelpful addition to someone's carefully coordinated dice collection, or buy it for yourself because you have read all of this and remain weirdly optimistic.

Q: Should I use a dice tray?
Yes. Protect your table. It has done nothing to deserve involvement in this.

Q: Okay, what's wrong with them? 
They're weird, dumb, ugly, cosmetically unhinged, fugly or weird. 

Q: ...But functional? Are they B-Grade? Why are they so cheap? 
Assuming you get past their looks, they are 100% Functional. They're cheap because we don't want them around and selling them at normal price felt like a crime. 

Q: I hate these... 
We warned you AND you're welcome. 5 stars please.

Q: But it would be funny if I gave it one star like the picture! 
I've actually run the numbers... and 5-star appears to be the correct play for comedy. 

Q: Will this send a message to someone I don't like? 
Yes! But it's best if you pretend it's a 100% sincere gift, and that you can't wait to see them break them out in-game. 😈 

Q: ...Well wait, the packaging will give away that its a joke gift. 
Tell them it's sarcastic... or it's the thought that counts or something. 

Q: If I order a few, will I get duplicates? 
Probably Not. We will try not to give duplicates in the SAME order, multiple separate order or large quantities (6+) may yield duplicate sets though.

Q: Maybe I'll like them...?
Oh man, you saw through the ruse-- Yup, these dice are actually amazing! 5 stars please, but don't worry about tagging us on social media.

Q: Really though... are they secretly nice?
If they were, we'd have given them a name like 'Moonlit Elven [Noun]' and not hidden them in a brown bag.

Q: Do you hate every set equally?
No. We are capable of nuance. 

Q: Are they cursed? 
Probably. 

Q: Will they improve my rolls?
They will provide a convenient new thing to blame... Which is probably what you really want, right?

Q: Could these make my other dice look better?
This may be their strongest selling point, and it isn't even about them.

  • US Small Business (Ships from 🍊 Syracuse, NY)
  • Free US Shipping Over $60!

  • 30-Day Any-Reason Returns (More Info)

  • Secure Checkout Via Paypal, Shop Pay and more 

Dice may have minor imperfections. Dice with randomized effects will vary from photo as no two sets are exactly alike. Dice are photographed with true-to-life color (balanced to sunlight).

FAQ

Minor Imperfections Disclaimer

Dice may have minor imperfections (tiny marks, micro-scratches, small dings and/or inconsistent inking) from the manufacturing or shipping process. This is mostly only noticeable upon close inspection/examination and the vast majority of modern game dice are made to this standard. Precision-made or casino dice are usually free of these imperfections, but are much more costly and are rarely seen at a D&D table. 

Randomized Effects Disclaimer

If a product includes randomized effects (such as: color swirls, glitter, foil, inclusions), your set will vary at least somewhat from the photos because no two sets are exactly alike. Some dice (like splatter paint dice, 4 color swirls and jumbo inclusions) can vary significantly.

Photography & Dice Colors

We try to photograph our dice to be true-to-life. Our white balancing is set close to daylight ~5600K (how they might look mid-day in the sun). We try not to “overglam” our photos, and we do our best to show what you’ll actually receive. That said, screens and lighting can wildly change how colors look. If your dice seem radically different, the quickest reality-check is to view them in natural daylight (near a window or outside), and compare again. 

Can I Customize Which Dice Are Included From a Set?

Nope, sorry. We cannot adjust a set to have extra of one die type or less of another. Most of our sets are pre-built and already packed as a set. Even though it might feel like an easy change, substitutions create leftover dice that can’t be sold and these adjustments would slow down our fulfillment process (which would push prices up for everyone).

These dice look like [Other Brand's] Dice?... Who makes these? 

A lot of dice in the industry come from the same factories (often in China, but not always). Those factories sell through multiple vendors, and many brands end up carrying identical designs. So, it isn't so much as they stole our dice or we stole theirs as we both have the same supplier (and likely, neither company made or designed them). We list vendors and SKUs when we have them, and we avoid marketing dice we merely buy as "ours" unless its using our designs or we have some kind of exclusive claim to them. Other brands are sometimes more liberal with claiming ownership-- which can certainly lead to confusion.

Are These Balanced?

Depends a bit on the specific set, but broadly speaking: yes, for normal play. Even well-made dice can have tiny inconsistencies in shape, polish, and weight. In practice, those differences are usually trivial compared to the chaos of an actual roll. And for RPG dice specifically, the numbers are intentionally scattered so any small “preference” is less likely to matter. Our rule of thumb: if you’re doing high-stakes science or cryptography, maybe don’t use gaming dice. For board games, TTRPGs, and everyday rolling, they’re great.

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