Included: One complete polyhedral set of Metal Dice we would like someone else to own (and that somebody could be you!)
These are the Metal dice that failed the very scientific test of us wanting them around. This is a mystery selection, so the exact colors, design, and decorative choices will vary. They make a suitable joke gift for a friend with a sense of humor, an extremely unhelpful addition to someone's carefully coordinated dice collection, or buy it for yourself because you have read all of this and remain weirdly optimistic.
Q: Should I use a dice tray?
Yes. Protect your table. It has done nothing to deserve involvement in this.
Q: Okay, what's wrong with them?
They're weird, dumb, ugly, cosmetically unhinged, fugly or weird.
Q: ...But functional? Are they B-Grade? Why are they so cheap?
Assuming you get past their looks, they are 100% Functional. They're cheap because we don't want them around and selling them at normal price felt like a crime.
Q: I hate these...
We warned you AND you're welcome. 5 stars please.
Q: But it would be funny if I gave it one star like the picture!
I've actually run the numbers... and 5-star appears to be the correct play for comedy.
Q: Will this send a message to someone I don't like?
Yes! But it's best if you pretend it's a 100% sincere gift, and that you can't wait to see them break them out in-game. 😈
Q: ...Well wait, the packaging will give away that its a joke gift.
Tell them it's sarcastic... or it's the thought that counts or something.
Q: If I order a few, will I get duplicates?
Probably Not. We will try not to give duplicates in the SAME order, multiple separate order or large quantities (6+) may yield duplicate sets though.
Q: Maybe I'll like them...?
Oh man, you saw through the ruse-- Yup, these dice are actually amazing! 5 stars please, but don't worry about tagging us on social media.
Q: Really though... are they secretly nice?
If they were, we'd have given them a name like 'Moonlit Elven [Noun]' and not hidden them in a brown bag.
Q: Do you hate every set equally?
No. We are capable of nuance.
Q: Are they cursed?
Probably.
Q: Will they improve my rolls?
They will provide a convenient new thing to blame... Which is probably what you really want, right?
Q: Could these make my other dice look better?
This may be their strongest selling point, and it isn't even about them.